You Become What You Measure
How social media dictates what we value, why this sabotages happiness, and three questions to build your personal success scorecard.
Are you happy?
It's a difficult question. I'm not searching for happiness. I'm searching for peace… Being satisfied with where I am standing? Yes.
This exchange from entrepreneur and podcaster Steve Bartlett’s interview with Shaolin Master Shi Heng Yi has been on my mind since I watched it last week.
Today, it's nearly impossible not to feel envious scrolling through social media.
Private jets, luxury homes, vacations, work experiences - our feeds have trained us to measure success with one simple measurement: what's in your bank account.
But this external scorecard hides the real cost of endless pursuit:
the missed family dinners
the health sacrificed for wealth
the relationships that become casualties of ambition.
Our envy makes us adopt these measurements without asking if they actually measure what matters to us.
We chase numbers and metrics that others value simply because that's what we're told to do.
We feel empty even when we hit these targets because there's always something else to chase.
By optimizing for what others tell us to value, we ignore our role in choosing what to value.
I understand the appeal of simple, visible metrics.
Growing up as the child of immigrants, I valued concrete progress: money saved, reliable transportation, stable housing. These represented security and hope.
But here's what experience taught me:
You become what you measure.
The metrics you choose don't just track your progress: they determine the life you build.
Choose only financial metrics, and you'll sacrifice everything else to hit those numbers: your relationships, health, and presence with those you love.
For me, what I most value in my life right now can’t always be deposited into a bank account:
Playing games with your kids
Quiet evenings with your spouse
Conversations that matter more than contracts
Don't get me wrong - money matters. We all have bills and goals requiring financial resources.
Financial security provides real peace of mind, and I'm not suggesting we ignore practical needs.
But money should be one measurement among many, not the only one.
The key is intentionally creating your success metrics before life creates them for you.
Three questions to start:
What would success look like if no one else could see it?
Which metrics would show you're living your values?
How will you measure progress toward the life you actually want?
The Real Success Metric
True success isn't how much you accumulate - it's how well your daily choices align with what you've decided matters most.
When you define success on your own terms, your perspective changes. You stop chasing other people's highlight reels and start building a life worth living.
You find what Master Shi Heng Yi was talking about: not happiness that comes and goes, but the deeper peace of being satisfied with where you stand.
That's the kind of success worth measuring.